17.3.21 - 22:27

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I regret a lot of things in life.

But mostly the fact that I didn't study more diligently before.

Honestly I just wanted to be the perfect daughter. I wanted to be kind, pure, innocent, but everyone has to adapt at some point in their life, right?

I feel like as I go on in life, I began to lose myself more and more because there's just nothing that goes according to what I expected and know.

I feel like I have become a bad person just to survive in this harsh reality. I don't like it, but I can't help it.

I'm losing myself but I don't know how to begin finding myself. I don't even know what or who I really am.

Since childhood (I think), my sole purpose was to make my parents proud. I wanted to keep doing that, but it's just so hard to live up to expectations when you just don't have any more motivation in life. I'm beginning to think that I was just empty. I am such a superficial person that I don't have any depth and anything that I do keep losing its meaning.

I don't know what to do except continue studying. Even if the results aren't good enough.